For many people, the holiday season brings feelings of joy and anticipation—a time to gather with family and friends and enjoy the celebratory atmosphere. But for others, this time of year can be especially difficult. The absence of loved ones can feel even more pronounced, and the traditions that once brought happiness may now deepen the sense of loss. Adjusting, redefining, or creating new traditions while grieving is not easy. Because of this, many people find their own unique ways to cope with the recurring holiday season—ways that honor both their pain and their need for connection and comfort.

So how can you approach the holidays with a little more hope, openness, and space for positive moments, even while grieving? The ideas below offer a starting point.

Start by Acknowledging Your Feelings

Rather than pushing your emotions aside, try naming them—sadness, anger, numbness, longing, or even brief moments of joy. All of these feelings are valid. When you allow yourself to feel what you feel, you reduce the pressure to “perform” happiness for others.

Find a Way to Honor Your Loved One

Honoring your loss can create a sense of meaning in the middle of the holidays. You might:

• Light a candle in their memory

• Cook or share their favorite meal

• Tell stories about them during a family gathering

• Play a song, watch a movie, or visit a place that reminds you of them

These simple rituals can help you feel connected, even in their absence.

Redefine What Tradition Means

If long-standing traditions are too painful, it’s okay to change them. You might:

• Simplify large gatherings into smaller, quieter ones

• Introduce one new activity that feels comforting or healing

• Skip certain events this year and give yourself permission to try again in the future

New or adapted traditions do not erase your past—they simply create space for your present reality.

Set Realistic Expectations and Boundaries

You are not required to attend every event or meet everyone’s holiday expectations. Check in with yourself:

• What do I have the energy for?

• What feels supportive, and what feels draining?

Give yourself permission to say no, to leave early, or to choose rest over activity. Protecting your emotional and physical energy is an important part of coping with grief.

Lean on Support

Grief can feel isolating, especially during a season that emphasizes togetherness. Reaching out for support can make a difference. Consider:

• Talking with a trusted friend or relative

• Joining a grief support group (online or in person)

• Seeking guidance from a therapist or faith leader

Sharing your experience with others who are compassionate and understanding can ease some of the loneliness.

Create Small Moments of Comfort and Joy

Allow yourself to notice and create small pockets of comfort—a warm blanket, a favorite book or film, time in nature, creative expression, or helping someone else in need. These moments don’t cancel out your grief, but they can gently remind you that it’s still possible to experience warmth and connection.

Be Patient and Gentle With Yourself

Grief is deeply personal and rarely follows a neat timeline. Some days will feel heavier than others. You might feel okay one moment and overwhelmed the next. This is normal. Try to offer yourself patience, understanding, and compassion as you move through the season.

Holding Grief and Hope Together

As you navigate the holidays, remember that it’s possible to hold both grief and gratitude, sorrow and sweetness. You can honor the people and traditions you’ve lost while slowly allowing room for new forms of connection and meaning.

Approaching this time of year with intention—not pressure—can make the holidays a little more bearable, and at times, surprisingly meaningful, even in the midst of loss.